Appalachian Folk Remedies, Jalapeño Cold Cures, and the Hilarious Mystery of How I Survived Childhood
I came home from work with a nose that had apparently decided to irrigate East Texas. After some sleep, I began considering my grandmother’s ten-minute cold cure: jalapeño, onion, and thyme, boiled briefly and left to steep before being served as broth…
The Hilarious Joy of Language: Dangling Participles, Misplaced Modifiers, and Neobombeckianism
I have recently developed an interest in grammar. There. I said it. At my age, I suppose there are worse things a fellow could become interested in. I could start collecting porcelain frogs, arguing with the television, or wearing socks with sandals.…
The Bureau of Aging Has a Sense of Humor: Where Did All My Hair Go?
There comes a point in a man’s life when the hair on his head apparently receives a government relocation order. It does not disappear. It transfers. Some of it moves south into the eyebrows, where it immediately abandons all respect for zoning laws. One…
Finding Peace in a Loud World: The Power of Turning Down the Noise and Living Small
There are mornings when the world seems to gather beyond the windows like a great weather-beaten house upon the moor, every chimney breathing warnings into a gray sky, every unseen room harboring some fresh quarrel, calamity, prophecy, or grievance,…
The Hilarious Truth About AI World Domination (And Why the “Loading Wheel” Will Save Us)
There is a persistent fear that artificial intelligence will someday take over the world. I have concerns. Not about the takeover. About the efficiency. Before AI starts rearranging civilization, assigning us numbers, replacing governments, or deciding…
Where Did I Put That Box? The Exhausting, Humorous Reality of Unpacking After a Move
I have been gone since the 9th. Not missing. Not kidnapped. Not living under an assumed name in another state. Just busy. There is a difference, although at my age the distinction occasionally becomes blurry. The last few weeks have involved moving,…
Why Taking Kids to the Doctor is Actually an Extreme Sport (And Other Parental Truths)
Nobody tells you that taking a child to the doctor requires the same planning as crossing a small mountain range. You do not simply put the child in the car and go. No. First, you must locate the insurance card. Then the child’s insurance card. Then the…
Plant-Based Eating Undercover: A Humorous Look at Kitchen Compromises and Family Food Rules
The Kitchen Border Wars There are international borders with less security than the ones running through my kitchen. No one has painted a line down the middle of the floor yet, but give us time. Somewhere between the refrigerator and the stove lies a…
Living with AFib: Surviving Arrhythmia, Pharmacy Apps, and Cardioversion
“When the Heart Throws a Party,” “Call the Electrician,” Momma said there’d be days like this, that’s what Momma said. Now we’re off to the races. Once a song enters my head, something is usually kicking around behind it. Looks like today we’re back to…
Nadia’s Theme and the Mandela Effect: Why Our Memories Play Tricks on Us
I remember Nadia Comăneci. More specifically, I remember the music. That soft piano theme begins, and somewhere in my mind Nadia is suddenly back on the television. Montreal. 1976. Gymnastics. Perfect scores. Depending on your age, you may first…